Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock

The old saying goes "The watch pot never boils."  Certainly words that are hard to swallow for those who struggle with patience, those like me. :)

Our summer passed very quickly.  After 3 years on the market, our home finally sold.  We spent May and June moving between helping with calving, branding, and planting the crops.  July came and so did the onset of a horrific draught in our part of Nebraska.  August arrived and we found ourselves short on help at the ranch and that required more time/hours to make sure the work was getting done.  Still, in the back of my mind...and during those brief daytime moments at home I wondered...would there be a phone call today?

In July, our adoption agency contacted us to say there had been a large increase in birth mothers seeking their services, and many of those said mothers were pregnant with little boys.  They wanted to be sure we were still looking to adopt a boy, and to be prepared that our "day" could come any time.  I was almost in disbelief that it could happen so quickly, only officially being adoption-ready since April.  As the weeks passed after this phone call, with no communication from the agency, my enthusiasm faded.  It wasn't until September came that I fully realized that there would be no "match" in the summer of 2012.

Several family and friends have inquired recently about our status in the process.  Another old saying "no news is good news" doesn't really apply at this time.  What it means for us is that those mothers pursuing adoption have chosen other couples/families over us.  This is the part of the adoption process that can shake one's confidence to the core.  We had to lay out all the minute details of our lives...from faith to finances and health to personal appearances...our life is an "open book" to these women.  They have photos and written words from us, nothing more.  As the days tick away, its easy to question what information we shared with the agency and wonder why we haven't been a "match" thus far.

Our little Maggie prays for her new "baby" each night and asks almost daily when he will come to us.  She relishes time spent with little babies we know as she "practices" being a big sister.  Sometimes these images of her squeeze my heart so tightly I wonder if I will survive it.  This past year has been especially difficult for my entire family, and has left me with a new definition of "Real family" and has given me new appreciation for my siblings and my relationship with them.  I yearn for the day our baby comes to us and Maggie can call him her "brother".

We are considering entering a relationship with an additional Christian adoption agency in Texas that has impressed us with their ministry to Birth parents and adoptive parents.  Many people work with multiple agencies in hopes of shortening the wait time to be matched.  It is something we are talking and praying about.  In addition to holding onto our faith, we have been encouraged a great deal by three families that have adopted domestically and internationally.  Kayla and Sonya and Amy have een such an inspiration to me as they have shared their stories and advice.  Two of them are also in the process of adopting again, and they give me such hope. :)

So, as we move into fall and try to be patient, we would ask that you pray for us.  That we would remain faithful and lean on God as we await His timing.  As we near the 1st anniversary of my Grandma's death, I am reminded that there is a season, a time, and a purpose to all things, and that as a Christian the best thing I can do it try to live that faith out in my daily life.  Thank you, friends and family who have stood by us through the thick and thin of life.