Many people have asked me "what all" must be done to move through the adoption process. Just looking at the list makes me tired, but thankful that we have moved through it in pretty good time. Here is an inside look at what all we have done thus far.
1. Application for Homestudy services and submit payment.
2. NDHHS Adult and Child Protective Services Cental Registry Release Form
3. Release of information consenting to run Sexual registry check on each applicant
4. Release of information for Homestudy agency
5. Signed agreement acknowledging grievance and appeal policies and procedures
6. Homestudy agency consultant service agreement
7. Health information forms for each member of adoptive family completed with family physician
8. Criminal background check (fingerprints for Matt and I)
9. Employer reference form
10. Personal reference forms (3) (includes essay questions our references had to answer)
11. Financial Assets Statement
12. Copy of most recent tax return
13. Copy of Marriage License
14. Copies of birth certificates for applicants
15. Copies of Social Security Cards for each member of family
16. Official log of required training hours to complete homestudy (10 required hours)
17. Application for Adoption with Bundle of Hope, and submitted application fee
18. Signed and notarized statement of faith completed by Matt and me.. (8 pages of questions)
19. Signed and notarized statement of faith completed by our pastor
20. Signed and notarized disclosure statement provided by adoption agency.
21. Submission of names of Six additional references to be contacted by adoption agency.
22.. Six hours of homestudy interviews completed by our Homestudy agency and Ms. Barbara
This doesn't include countless hours of research and reading about adoption and asking questions of those in our homestudy agency and adoption agency, as well as the time spent with friends who have adopted. Happy to say we have completed everything on the above list, and now wait for one more homestudy visit and Ms. Barbara to write our homestudy to submit to Bundle of Hope. Feeling the need to celebrate coming this far!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
What is a family?
Ms. Barbara made herself right a home yesterday when she arrived. She tossed her jacket, grabbed her notebook and sat down to look directly at us. Aside from greeting Maggie, the next question was "Well kids, tell me....what is a family?"
A quick flashback to my youth at ages, 5, 15, or 25 revealed an anxious girl ready to raise her hand and quick to give the "right" answer. Now, at ages 33 and 35, Matt and I had to ponder for awhile.
Is it blood that defines a family? Loyalty? Compassion? Bonds of strengh and character? Is family any person you have exchanged blood, sweat, and tears with? How about anyone who stands by your side on the most difficult days of your life? Is it defined by a person who gave birth to you, or you gave birth to them? What about marriage, adoption, fostering, taking in someone who has no one else? Definitions that once seemed so clear, now muddied by tragic events, blessings from people in our lives who do not share our "blood". Questions that have brought me to my knees in prayer and sobs in the past six months. I find myself thinking that our God in heaven orchestrated the idea of family, and how we humans have literally "spit" in His face by denying what his words commanded us to do.
While we chose our words to give Barbara and define family, I had to do it through tears. Tears of happiness and tears of great sorrow. The burden of my heart is that I feel very disconnected to many in my "family." Age, geography, difference of opinion, events of the past that I had nothing to do with...events that I may have had something to do with. Each experience weighing heavily upon me as I look at my own daughter and children to come. How can I do my part to create more harmony in my family, can it even be accomplished? How, I will gain new family through adoption, and the joy and fears that come with it.
The only simple answer is that "family" is different for everyone. There is no one perfect definition, yet it is one of the greatest assets and blessings that any one of us will know in our short time here on earth. We could not be more thrilled at the idea of adding to our immediate family, and our Maggie at just three years old prays desperately for a brother or sister to have, hold, care for, and love. A mother's heart could not be more touched by her fervent prayers for a sibling. She doesn't care that the child may look different than her, because a family is her one and only desire. Oh, there is so much we could learn from children. They work out their differences, believe in forgiveness, show so much joy for life and one another. Their love and zeal for life is so precious, we feel blessed to be gifted the responsibility of caring for it.
A quick flashback to my youth at ages, 5, 15, or 25 revealed an anxious girl ready to raise her hand and quick to give the "right" answer. Now, at ages 33 and 35, Matt and I had to ponder for awhile.
Is it blood that defines a family? Loyalty? Compassion? Bonds of strengh and character? Is family any person you have exchanged blood, sweat, and tears with? How about anyone who stands by your side on the most difficult days of your life? Is it defined by a person who gave birth to you, or you gave birth to them? What about marriage, adoption, fostering, taking in someone who has no one else? Definitions that once seemed so clear, now muddied by tragic events, blessings from people in our lives who do not share our "blood". Questions that have brought me to my knees in prayer and sobs in the past six months. I find myself thinking that our God in heaven orchestrated the idea of family, and how we humans have literally "spit" in His face by denying what his words commanded us to do.
While we chose our words to give Barbara and define family, I had to do it through tears. Tears of happiness and tears of great sorrow. The burden of my heart is that I feel very disconnected to many in my "family." Age, geography, difference of opinion, events of the past that I had nothing to do with...events that I may have had something to do with. Each experience weighing heavily upon me as I look at my own daughter and children to come. How can I do my part to create more harmony in my family, can it even be accomplished? How, I will gain new family through adoption, and the joy and fears that come with it.
The only simple answer is that "family" is different for everyone. There is no one perfect definition, yet it is one of the greatest assets and blessings that any one of us will know in our short time here on earth. We could not be more thrilled at the idea of adding to our immediate family, and our Maggie at just three years old prays desperately for a brother or sister to have, hold, care for, and love. A mother's heart could not be more touched by her fervent prayers for a sibling. She doesn't care that the child may look different than her, because a family is her one and only desire. Oh, there is so much we could learn from children. They work out their differences, believe in forgiveness, show so much joy for life and one another. Their love and zeal for life is so precious, we feel blessed to be gifted the responsibility of caring for it.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Bundle of Hope Ministries, we are finally home!
At long last, we have prayerfully decided which Adoption agency we will work with. Bundle of Hope Ministries in Jacksonville, FL is that agency. We first received a referral to them, and then their name was placed in front of us another time. Their staff is kind, quick to respond, and most helpful. They have provided us with resources to learn all about how they minister to birth moms in need, and this just feels right. Additionally, the state of Florida has a warm place in our hearts. We know many special people there.
This poem comes from the Bundle of Hope Website. I think it speaks volumes!
This poem comes from the Bundle of Hope Website. I think it speaks volumes!
THE LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD
Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call Mother.
Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.
One gave you your life,
The other taught you how to live it.
One gave you a need for love,
The other was there to give it.
One gave you emotions
The other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile
The other dried your tears.
One sought for you a home
That she could not provide.
The other longed for a child,
Her prayers were not denied.
You were born from caring courage,
Nurtured with help from above.
You are the blending, my child
of two different kinds of love.
of two different kinds of love.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Home Study...part I
Ahhhhh! Adoption is o overwhelming, much like parenting. So much stuff we KNEW we would encounter....and so many surprises.
To begin with, Black children are CHEAPER to adopt than white children. Disgusting, isn't it? We have not yet determined which agency we will work with, but this comes up in nearly every private agency we have spoken with. Such a sad state of affairs in America. I thought we were past that. I've been told its a simple "supply and demand" situation, by some. As if, we were purchasing a car and not adopting a child. Talk about verbals that make me instantaneously decide who NOT to work with.
Ms. Barbara will be a tremendous resource for us. She has been doing this since 1983 and is a wealth of knowledge. Something else to share. Nebraska has one of the LONGEST waits for adoptive parents. This is because the number of children waiting to be adopted has fallen to historic lows. No one knows why, but can speculate that more young ladies have their own parents to help parent children and that the economy has remained strong here, allowing people to "make it" financially.
Next up for us, to begin completion of 10 required hours of study about adoption, to complete some required home safey procedures that have to do with our firearms, and pick an agency. Waits for babies at this time range from 3-18 months. We could be placed as early as July, or in late 2013. Patience is a requirement for this trip!
When we realized that we could be placed as early as July, it shifted our prayers. Knowing our baby could already be growing in the womb of a special woman that will bless us has directed us to pray for that woman and that baby. We would appreciate if you would consider doing the same. Thank you again for your support!
Matt, Leah and Maggie
To begin with, Black children are CHEAPER to adopt than white children. Disgusting, isn't it? We have not yet determined which agency we will work with, but this comes up in nearly every private agency we have spoken with. Such a sad state of affairs in America. I thought we were past that. I've been told its a simple "supply and demand" situation, by some. As if, we were purchasing a car and not adopting a child. Talk about verbals that make me instantaneously decide who NOT to work with.
Ms. Barbara will be a tremendous resource for us. She has been doing this since 1983 and is a wealth of knowledge. Something else to share. Nebraska has one of the LONGEST waits for adoptive parents. This is because the number of children waiting to be adopted has fallen to historic lows. No one knows why, but can speculate that more young ladies have their own parents to help parent children and that the economy has remained strong here, allowing people to "make it" financially.
Next up for us, to begin completion of 10 required hours of study about adoption, to complete some required home safey procedures that have to do with our firearms, and pick an agency. Waits for babies at this time range from 3-18 months. We could be placed as early as July, or in late 2013. Patience is a requirement for this trip!
When we realized that we could be placed as early as July, it shifted our prayers. Knowing our baby could already be growing in the womb of a special woman that will bless us has directed us to pray for that woman and that baby. We would appreciate if you would consider doing the same. Thank you again for your support!
Matt, Leah and Maggie
Friday, March 2, 2012
Its Friday! It has been a busy week for us, filling out paperwork, spending time on the phone, and talking about all that we must complete the next few weeks.
We are feeling blessed to have found a caseworker to complete our Homestudy. Her name is Barbara and she is a wealth of knowledge. For domestic AND international adoption, couples must complete a homestudy. This includes a caseworker visiting our home multiple times to interview us, assess the safety of our home, learn about our family etc. Additionally, there is a MOUNTAIN of paperwork that goes along. Seems very ironic, that anyone can just "have a baby" if they desire, but if you wish to adopt you must have your life scrutinized by a lot of people before getting the permission to adopt. They leave no stone unturned. It includes a detailed look at our physical and mental health, our finances, tax returns, references, criminal background checks etc. Amazing, right? We certainly understand the need to be thorough when placing a child, but it does seem pretty extreme.
Yesterday we completed our fingerprints with the help of Chief Petersen in Ravenna. He was very kind and informative about the process.
Next step, working with our references to complete the needed forms and working through an enormous questionnaire that Matt and I must complete. It will provide our caseworker with an indepth look at our family life, history and goals for the future. Will feel like we are in pre-marital counseling again!
Thank you again! Our hope is to complete the majority of our homestudy work in March.
We are feeling blessed to have found a caseworker to complete our Homestudy. Her name is Barbara and she is a wealth of knowledge. For domestic AND international adoption, couples must complete a homestudy. This includes a caseworker visiting our home multiple times to interview us, assess the safety of our home, learn about our family etc. Additionally, there is a MOUNTAIN of paperwork that goes along. Seems very ironic, that anyone can just "have a baby" if they desire, but if you wish to adopt you must have your life scrutinized by a lot of people before getting the permission to adopt. They leave no stone unturned. It includes a detailed look at our physical and mental health, our finances, tax returns, references, criminal background checks etc. Amazing, right? We certainly understand the need to be thorough when placing a child, but it does seem pretty extreme.
Yesterday we completed our fingerprints with the help of Chief Petersen in Ravenna. He was very kind and informative about the process.
Next step, working with our references to complete the needed forms and working through an enormous questionnaire that Matt and I must complete. It will provide our caseworker with an indepth look at our family life, history and goals for the future. Will feel like we are in pre-marital counseling again!
Thank you again! Our hope is to complete the majority of our homestudy work in March.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
And so it begins...
In October of 2011, in the midst of sorrow, our prayers turned to growing our family. It has not been a simple journey to becoming parents (more on that later).
The loss of a loved one moved us along, realizing once again how short life truly is. If we all waited for the time to be right, the money to be in the bank account, the circumstances to look perfect...well, I think its safe to say that most of us would not accomplish much in this life. :)
The process of moving from our reconciled thoughts that we are an infertile couple and will not likely ever be able to have a biological child again has NOT been easy. Through prayer, friends, discussion and the recognition that our desire is to grow our family, we have arrived at the decision to adopt a child and give them a forever home with the Petersons. We could not be more thrilled.
We have decided to document our journey, for many reasons. For our own reflections, looking at the good when we experience the bad. Perhaps we can encourage another couple who are struggling with infertility or the adoption process. Mostly, we want to glorify God as he has been our rock and compass in our nearly 11 year marriage.
If you have interest in our journey, this will be the best way to see our updates. We recognize it will be a long process, where much patience is required. We appreciate your love, encouragement and support on what will be a wild ride. Thank you.
The loss of a loved one moved us along, realizing once again how short life truly is. If we all waited for the time to be right, the money to be in the bank account, the circumstances to look perfect...well, I think its safe to say that most of us would not accomplish much in this life. :)
The process of moving from our reconciled thoughts that we are an infertile couple and will not likely ever be able to have a biological child again has NOT been easy. Through prayer, friends, discussion and the recognition that our desire is to grow our family, we have arrived at the decision to adopt a child and give them a forever home with the Petersons. We could not be more thrilled.
We have decided to document our journey, for many reasons. For our own reflections, looking at the good when we experience the bad. Perhaps we can encourage another couple who are struggling with infertility or the adoption process. Mostly, we want to glorify God as he has been our rock and compass in our nearly 11 year marriage.
If you have interest in our journey, this will be the best way to see our updates. We recognize it will be a long process, where much patience is required. We appreciate your love, encouragement and support on what will be a wild ride. Thank you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)